Whether you're in the throws of a hot flash or struggling with a not-so-regular menstrual cycle, it can be difficult to take even one more day — let alone years — of a body that just doesn't feel like your own. But there are things you can do to survive "the change". And part of that survival means opening up about what you're going through.

"Menopause officially begins when your periods have stopped for at least one year and you do not ovulate any longer," says Dr. Ted Jablonski, a family physician in private practice in Calgary. "The average age to enter menopause is 51 years old but perimenopause, the start of the transition into menopause, can start in your 30s or 40s and go on for years."

A primer on perimenopause

It's important to understand perimenopause because there are no hard-and-fast rules as to when it will start and how long it may last. "With perimenopause, expect the unexpected," explains Dr. Jablonski. "During this transition period, your hormone levels are gradually declining but continue to rise and fall on a daily basis. While they will eventually level off in menopause, these fluctuations can cause swift and unexpected changes in your body."

Changes like:

• Unpredictable periods — they may be heavier, lighter, more frequent or stop for months at a time
• Mood variability — being depressed or down for no reason
• Hot flashes — a sudden surge in body temperature that may lead to sweating
• Vaginal dryness — and, possibly, a drop in libido
• Unexplained weight gain — even with a healthy diet, you may gain weight, particularly around your midsection
• Non-specific things — fatigue, poor concentration, bloating or cramping

"With all of these changes, it's no surprise that some women just don't feel like themselves," says Dr. Jablonski. "But whether you're perimenopausal or menopausal, there are some positive steps you can take to start feeling like yourself again."

Menopause makeovers

Dr. Jablonski offers the following advice to all women who want some relief:

• Talk about it. "Don't be embarrassed to talk about it with people you trust, including your healthcare provider," he advises. "The more you know, the more you'll understand."
• Help your bones. "During these stages, your bone mass decreases so take a calcium and vitamin D supplement."
• Practice waist management. "Weight gain around your middle is probably the worse place to gain it, so pay attention to your waist measurement," says Dr. Jablonski. "Make sure you eat a healthy diet and, of course, get active. We know that sedentary women tend to struggle more with perimenopause and menopause."
• Work up a sweat. "One of the best things you can do to combat hot flashes is to exercise so that you sweat. The reason being is that when you sweat, your body will revise and regulate its own temperature," he says. "Strive towards consistent aerobic exercise to keep hot flashes in check."
• Stay away from certain foods. "Reduce foods or beverages that aggravate hot flashes such as spicy foods, caffeinated drinks, hot beverages and red wine."
• Don't skimp on sleep. "While hot flashes at night may cause interrupted sleep, try to get as much quality sleep as you can."
• Deal with your stress. "Simply put, too much stress can escalate the symptoms associated with menopause and perimenopause," informs Dr. Jablonski. "Do what you can to de-stress as much as possible."

Get your healthcare provider involved

"If lifestyle changes aren't making a difference, be open and discuss your symptoms with your doctor or healthcare provider," says Dr. Jablonski. "If you're perimenopausal, your healthcare provider can recommend other lifestyle tips, over-the-counter or herbal remedies and hormone replacement therapy (HRT) — if it's right for you."

To find support groups in your area, search "menopause" in We can find support.