Does a stressful event at work have you heading for the door or prepping for a fight? Use this interactive tool and let the pendulum tell you. And then learn what to do about it.
Most of us have experienced the feeling of wanting to scream at the top of our lungs when stressed at the office. It can happen when a meeting has been pushed up a few hours (and you're still not prepared) or your boss decides to dump more work on your desk. While we don't have control over those stressors, we can work to control our reaction to help manage stress for our own good and for the good of our workplace.
"Not every stressful situation will initiate the same response," says Lyle Cameron, leadership effectiveness expert and president of Quotient Factor Inc. "But, generally, our reactions will either fall into the fight or flight category. Unfortunately, those reactions can heighten stress and become part of a stress-inducing cycle that never gets resolved." But by knowing and understanding your style under stress, you start making positive changes.
The work style pendulum
To help determine your work style under stress, here are 14 statements that require your "yes" or "no" response. When you're done, the pendulum will tell you if you swing towards flight or a fight during a stress situation.
Does this sound like you?
Yes
No
You don't return phone calls, emails or texts because you don't want to deal with the co-worker who sent them.
When losing control of a conversation, you interrupt co-workers so that you can bring the conversation back to where you think it should be.
If you're having a problem with a co-worker, you avoid contact with them.
You wait for "just the right time" to have a difficult conversation with someone.
You exaggerate your arguments to get your points across. (For example, you may inflate a statistic to make your view sound correct.)
When a co-worker's comment catches you off guard, you make forceful, seemingly attacking remarks.
You don't give your opinion when dealing with stressful subjects.
You change the subject when a touchy topic comes up.
You don't hesitate to tell a co-worker they said something or did something you think is stupid or silly.
You usually soften tough news or subjects by using weak or insincere compliments.
During a heated discussion, you get tough with other co-workers to make them see your point.
During a heated discussion, you use arguments or make points that may insult or hurt a co-worker.
When frustrated, you use jokes, sarcasm or inappropriate remarks rather than say what you really think.
You would rather resolve issues one way or another rather than have them linger.
Based on your answers, you fall into the FIGHT category.
While one style is really no better than the other, this information will help you move to a more productive and balanced place.
For fighters: your work style stress strategies
As a fighter, Lyle Cameron recommends the following:
Pause the pendulum. "Pausing the pendulum puts control back in your hands rather than letting your emotions make an already stressful situation even worse," he advises. "The best and easiest way to do that is to take a physical break. If you can, go for a walk, hit the stairwell and climb a few flights, or fill up your glass at the water cooler. If you can't take a break, take deep breaths, count to the number 10 slowly and ask yourself what the consequences are if you 'pull the trigger.'"
Be self-aware. While you're taking a break, try to centre yourself and calm down. Again, deep breathing or a simple meditation works well. Tell yourself that you're ready to handle the situation differently.
Activate the higher level of your brain. Question the situation and your tendency to fight and why it's time for balance. Doing so may help activate your brain's neo-cortex to bring logic and reason to the forefront.
Have a second opinion. Are you really seeing things as they actually are? Take yourself (and your emotions) out of the situation and try to look at it from a different angle. Did your boss really ignore your idea in a meeting or was she just concentrating on something else? For those times when you can't be your own second opinion, ask a colleague for help.
Change the story. "When we think negatively about someone, we tend to find their negative character traits," says Lyle. "But we can change the story that plays in our head about another person and about ourselves. This helps us refocus our frames of reference so that we start seeing the positive."
Envision a win/win resolution. To re-enter and resolve the stressful situation, have a beneficial outcome in mind. When it comes to a stress-inducing co-worker, that could be as simple as saying, "I want a better collaboration so we can both work better." As a fighter, remember to watch your tone and language so that you don't come across as aggressive, angry or pushy.
Practice your strategy — in your head. Changing what may have become an instinctive reaction isn't easy but you can do it with practice. Rather than veg-out in front of the TV after dinner or during your morning commute, visualize how you'll react the next time something stressful comes out of the blue. That way, you can plan ahead and be better prepared."
"One last piece of advice I give people is to get your financial affairs in order so that you don't feel trapped in a workplace you hate," says Lyle Cameron. "Having options means less fear and less stress — regardless of where the pendulum lands."
Based on your answers, you fall into the FLIGHT category.
While one style is really no better than the other, this information will help you move to a more productive and balanced place.
For flighters: your work style stress strategies
If you tend towards flight, Lyle Cameron recommends the following:
Pause the pendulum. "Pausing the pendulum puts control back in your hands rather than letting your emotions make an already stressful situation even worse," he advises. "The best and easiest way to do that is to take a physical break. So rather than clam-up or change the subject, go for a walk, hit the stairwell and climb a few flights, or fill up your glass at the water cooler. If you're in a meeting, try some deep breathing to help de-stress and ask yourself what the consequences are if you don't speak up — for both the situation or conversation at hand and for yourself in general." Just know that stopping the pendulum doesn't mean you're fleeing the situation; on the contrary, you're actually preparing yourself to deal with the situation with a more balanced approach.
Be self-aware. While you're taking a break, try to centre yourself and get ready for action rather than avoiding it. Again, deep breathing or a simple meditation works well. Tell yourself that you know your tendency is towards flight but you're ready to handle the situation differently.
Activate the higher level of your brain. Question the situation, why your normal reaction of fleeing isn't helping matters and why it's time for balance. Doing so may help activate your brain's neo-cortex to bring logic and reason to the forefront.
Have a second opinion. Are you really seeing things as they actually are? Take yourself (and your emotions) out of the situation and try to look at it from a different angle. Is the co-worker you're avoiding really trying to take advantage of your good nature or will they understand that you're too busy to help them with their workload? For those times when you can't be your own second opinion, ask a colleague for help.
Change the story. "When we think negatively about someone, we tend to find their negative character traits," says Lyle. "But we can change the story that plays in our head about another person and about ourselves. This helps us refocus our frames of reference so that we start seeing the positive."
Envision a win/win resolution. To re-enter and resolve the stressful situation, have a beneficial outcome in mind. When it comes to a stress-inducing co-worker, that could be as simple as saying, "I want a better collaboration so we can both work better." Since you tend to flee, prepare yourself to be more focussed, present and responsive.
Practice your strategy — in your head. Changing what may have become an instinctive reaction isn't easy but you can do it with practice. Rather than veg-out in front of the TV on a weeknight or during your morning commute, visualize how you'll react the next time something stressful comes out of the blue. That way, you can plan ahead and be better prepared."
"One last piece of advice I give people is to get your financial affairs in order so that you don't feel trapped in a workplace you hate," says Lyle Cameron. "Having options means less fear and less stress — regardless where the pendulum lands."
Useful links
Use these links to find more tips and information about work and stress:
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