Your partner has bad breath or body odour. Things aren't going as well as you would like in the bedroom. You're keeping a secret about an embarrassing health concern.
Read on to learn the why and the how of having those conversations you'd rather not have.
When it comes to your relationship, being honest is the way to go. Here's why:
- Being open will often bring you closer. Open communication can create a deeper connection and bond; and that could lead to an incredible relationship rather than one that's simply okay.
- Put your partner's mind at ease. If your partner senses something is wrong, they may think it's more serious than it really is. For example, if you avoid being intimate with them, they may think you don't find them attractive anymore. Tell them the truth and your partner will probably feel relieved.
- Learn more about each other. By talking about embarrassing problems, you may learn something new about your partner and, possibly, yourself.
Now that we know the why, let's look at the how:
- Choose the right time. Pick a time when you're both in a relaxed mood and know that the chances you'll be disturbed are slim.
- Relax. If you're mad, stressed or in a bad mood, try to snap out of it before you have the talk. A relaxation exercise before you sit down with your partner could do the trick.
- Use "I" statements. Using "you" statements — like "you always" or "you never" — can be heard as an attack and that will make your partner defensive or feel threatened.
- Use words you're comfortable using. Don't worry too much about using slang or proper terms; instead, use words that make it possible for you and your partner to have an open and honest conversation.
- Remember to listen. Pay attention to your partner's responses (verbal and non-verbal) and always take their feelings into consideration.
At the end of the conversation, you want to determine any next steps. It could just be a matter of using deodorant or mouthwash, or showering after a really sweaty workout. Whatever your resolution, help reinforce your bond with open, honest and meaningful conversations.